/ audacious

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

confuse.

can't u all just leave me alone?

i simply just wan u out of my life.

#edited 22:41

what i meant was.
can you dun drop the bomb on me just when i'm trying to make my first step out?

{8:03:00 pm}

Monday, September 26, 2005

freaking busy, freaking messy.

hahas... oh my god la... i really have a freaking fuck up schedule... what i meant was all my deadlines for my projects. really damn fuck up. u see, wed i gotta hand up my drawing class's western house perspective drawing. thurs will be that stupid grp project essay that was drag from dunno how many hundred years ago. fri, the most stressing one... my animation for media arts! all 200 hundred sketches must be scan in and put into director. and i only completed 52 sketches. help me!! plus also visual studies, 5 different studies for the stupid idiotic poster.

enough of complains... it will be over soon. starting from 15th of oct will be my hols... hohos... two and a half months... damn shiok la... and funny la. so many work to do and i'm still slacking ard here... somemore tmr still got work... hahas...

but anyw, 4 more days to pay day... can't wait to get my jumpsuit skirty from topshop. reserved it that dat. clink here. but the one i wan is brown in colour. 89 dollars. =))

yesterday went out w my parents... ate at paragon... then realise dat lesbo is working upstair so went up to say hi... hahas... and also saw jr, cos he's waiting for lesbo to finish work... and i must really pei fu him... shld be more than 6 hrs right? hahahahas...

and i must say, suddenly realised there's actually a lot of ppl that really very concerned abt me... i love u guys... =D

{9:48:00 pm}

Thursday, September 22, 2005

thanks ppl.`

its been two weeks since i last blogged...
hmm... these two weeks was hectic and in a mess. yups. and i could say dramatic too? hahas...
anyw, changed a new skin which = to changing a new life... i think this skin's not bad, waddya think ppl? =))

i really gonna thanks those that had been w me thru this period and those who jux came by to give me support even though they dunno what's going on. oh, and not forgetting those that were just super duper ba gua, but i know they are also being concerned. hahahas...

so let what had happened to be the past. i also dun feel like talking abt it here. those that are curious can just ask me personally. hahas.

the past two weeks were deadlines deadlines and more deadlines. i'm becoming like a zombie. just last week i din sleep for two nights alr. just to rush projects. and the next day still gotta go to sch the whole day plus there's also work. hahahas... so that's why i'm losing weight... that's a gd thing though. =D

so yar, growing up... its really a tough process but... if fate want to let me grow up thru this way i also hv no choice. hahas. i really realised. ppl in the real realistic world are not as simple as what it was last time. i know i'm really having a sudden jump of lifestyle but we hv to adapt. this is life.

can't possibly recap the last two wks, but can just recap yesterday.
went swimming w dickson kor in the morning. and he overslept!!! hahas. din really swam much, just slack ard, sun tan and chit chat... went long john to hv lunch den to sch for drawing class. after class met up w him again cos he wanna catch a movie. saw jingyi and xingzhi at entertainment while we are getting the tics... cos we hv two hrs before the movie start, so we went to the temple. i know this might sound a bit ridicules, but we went dere really to pray. i really haven went praying for a long long time. and the temple we went i'm not familar with it so i'm like blur thru out... so after praying at the balestier temple, we actually also wan to go to the shuang lin si one, but its alr close when we reach there... so next time lohx. den we walk back to central to catch the movie. and its quite nice. brothers grimm i guess??

i really had a great day. thanks to dickson to kai dao wo the whole day. hehe. but..... went home dat time kenna lecture... not dat i go back late, not dat i din meation where i go or who i am with lohx... my mum just paraniod la... she dun like me to go out w diff guys everytime and alone... but its like what century le... haix... i've always been very obedience lohx... i always report to my mum where i go, who i am with, what i did, what time i will be back... blah blah blah... isn't it enough? and i seldom lie and i always listen to what my mum told me... ppl might think that i'm too protected le... and yar, i do think so. but i hv no choice right, its also for my own good...

meeting up w zm and ser tmr... so long nv see them le... esp. zm... misses them...

{6:45:00 pm}

Thursday, September 08, 2005

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{3:24:00 pm}

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

confuse. lost. disappointed. whatever.
after tmr. i shall let it go.
dun wan to cling on it anymore.
sort it all out le.
life has to move on.

give me some time,
i will be back when i'm ready.

{10:14:00 pm}

Monday, September 05, 2005

calm down quite a bit alr.

had a depression outbreak yesterday night. lucky rox saw me. or else i also dunno wad to do.

been really lost these few days. serious outbreak yesterday. wandered aimlessly ard orchard after work. can't stop crying.

thanks to rox for acc me home yesterday. and not forgetting ser and ql for acc me today. guess i really need ppl to be ard me these few days. or else i anytime can beng kui.

its a strangle between me and her. its not easy to leave her competely or rather her to leave me. 14 years is quite a long period of time. guess i shld leave it to time... i'm slowly growing out le... i hope u dun come and bother me more le k... we muz grow up and cannot always stuck to the past. some more i found my life. so i really hope u can let me go...

{11:02:00 pm}

Saturday, September 03, 2005

this is freaking idiotic... i hate myself. why do i have to be like this. i sense this depression will stay for ages. i'm having depression, not pms. so i'm still my normal self. i'm not angry w anyone but myself.
no longer dat cheerful girl anymore. i can laugh at jokes and is my normal self when there's a lot of ppl. but my mind wanders when i'm in my world. i tot i had alr left all dat behind me long ago. why does it hv to come back again?? i use to love the world. but i hate it now. no matter where i wish to escape to, i jux can't escape frm it.

i hate the feeling.
i hate you. yar. YOU. can u jux leave me a lone? sstop bothering me.
this is crazy. why am i crying like mad?why? why does u keep making me cry? i tot u had left for good... why do u hv to come back? its been five months. five months of being myself. happily. ihateyouihateyouihateyouihateyou!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK YOU LA. JUXT GET OUT AND LEAVE ME ALONE.

{11:46:00 pm}

Friday, September 02, 2005

i'm suffering frm a sudden depression.

arghx...

stress? maybe.

i realise dat i'm such a bad person. i guess i'm damn frustrated w myself now. i dun understand myself la... why the only thing u know is cry, can't u learn to be stronger???

yesterday went to project superstar. weilian won. i'm actually glad w the result. u all know the reason. although i like kelly very much.

{10:25:00 pm}

Thursday, September 01, 2005

HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY
today's teachers day. got sch but pon. wahahahahas... cos i'm jux damn sleepy... den somemore morning wake up dat time had a bad stomachache. and plus today is history class only till 12noon, nothing very impt, and i will definitely slp dere if i go so muz well stay home.

and hate the renovation upstairs la... so noisy... i wanna sleep one lehx. stupid stupid stupid.

anyw, went back to beatty yesterday. and yup, i felt like an alien. i noe... cos of my hair... hahas. but nice wad... ppl in lasalle also nv so da jin xiao guai... but i like my hair now. i loves the red part. =)) saw a lot of ppl i haven seen for a long time. i misses them. hais... ppl really changes. its only less then one yr time we had changed so much. everything in beatty is diff le... i felt so old now.
den after i finish sch went shopping w ql and mercy. bought a new bra and a pair of shoes.( again, i noe) hahahas... den rush home to watch project superstar. later going to indoor stadium to watch! so happy...

The Clothes You Wear
What others see from your style-
You tend to be affectionate but not very strong emotionally. You want to be loved, and this can make you appear needy and clingy at times.
What your nightclothes reveal-
You are friendly and always in good mood. You are candid and helpful, and can be sexy at times too.
What others see from your ties-
You are kind and friendly. You are an uncomplicated person and enjoy exciting activities.
What others see from your belts-
You are a kind of person who likes to hide your feelings. You may have a hot temper but tend to cover it with an outwardly calm and gentle demeanor. You are sensitive when it comes to love.
What others see from your shoes-
You're very young at heart. You regard freedom highly and don't like to be controlled by a set of rules. You don't like conflict, will compromise wherever possible, and are hardworking people. Occasionally you can become vulnerable when having to face problems, especially emotional ones.
What others see from your earrings-
You are a sweet and talkative person. You are sociable, energetic and interesting, and get easily bored by the same old things. You are always looking for adventure.
The last analysis-
You are probably a romantic and passionate person. You are sensitive and lonely when you aren't in love. You can be somewhat self-centered, but you are honest and sincere to others. You like to make a good impression of yourself and worry about what others think of you.
http://quizbox.com/personality/test102.aspx

{12:26:00 am}